


Secrets, Lies, and Goodbyes 2

by BrokePerception



Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 10:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/418125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokePerception/pseuds/BrokePerception
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Horatio and Calleigh have been dating for over two years and living together for about six months, when she begins to suspect that Horatio is being unfaithful... /Sequel to: EVENTUALLY/ DuCaine; HipHuggers</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 10

BETA READ by _Lady Anemone_ & _LA Calleigh_. 

* * *

 **Disclaimer:** All the characters of CSI: Miami are the property of CBS Broadcasting Inc and Alliance-Atlantis Communications. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**CHALLENGE, in the same universe as my series POSITIVE/NEGATIVE.** ****

* * *

Chapter 10

"Calleigh..." Horatio impatiently seized the wrist of his daughter's mother, gently forcing her to make eye contact with his pain filled depths. She found herself turned around, still holding the black nine millimeter she had been firing when her red haired, blue eyed husband and former boss had walked in on her domain. Calleigh and Horatio had both been able to keep their respective jobs at the lab and on the day shift, on condition Calleigh would report straight to the Captain. Protocol actually tried to prevent personal relationships from interfering with their work, and usually, one or both was transferred because of it. They counted themselves lucky in this.

"Let go," Calleigh said. She valued her independence, and really didn't like being bossed around by anyone. Just as the female opened her mouth to repeat her words, Eric appeared at the doorway of the firing range, behind Horatio. Their dialogue had escalated from its quiet beginnings and had likely been a little louder than usual...

When Calleigh's lips parted without saying a word, and Horatio noticed her green eyes wandering over to something behind him, the man instinctively turned around to confront the other man. "Eric, could you leave us alone for a minute?"

The Trace and Tires expert nodded and immediately left, as Horatio slid his fingers off his wife's small wrist and looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said, "This really drives me nuts, this..." Lieutenant Caine searched for the right word, "uncertainty," he concluded.

"I'm sorry, too," Calleigh answered.

"Does that mean you have had enough time to... ?"

She sighed and lowered her pure emerald eyes. "No," she admitted. When she felt his deep blue eyes on her, she looked up once again and said, "I just want things to be like they were before. If only it were that easy. I need to get used to…" More words weren't really necessary. Saying what she had just said, Calleigh finally made up her mind and realized what her next move should be.

"We have all time in the world," Horatio said, "I could wait for a lifetime, as long as it was with you."

"Have you heard from Elizabeth recently?" Calleigh asked, after a few minutes of silence. She hid her confusion and ongoing indecision with a little smile. Her sudden question surprised him a little, but Horatio nodded and answered honestly. "I was at Tripp's yesterday–" "And he interrogates me about her every day. He takes every single opportunity to ask if she's alright, and to squeeze me like a lemon," Sergeant Francis 'Frank' Tripp finished, walking up behind the pair. "I'm sorry to disturb your little conversation, but a D.B. has been found in Coral Gables. Young girl. Identity unknown. Gunshot wounds. She was found completely naked."

Frank rolled his eyes as neither of them replied, and started to walk back the way he had come. "Not _too_ long, right? Our D.B. won't be leaving the crime scene any time soon, but I was hoping we could get at least an identity before the shift ends," he said, leaving Ballistics in his typical way: shoulders squared, giant steps.

Horatio looked at the mother of his child with surprise, as she carefully leaned forward and her soft red lips met his. When both of them pulled back, Calleigh said, "Come on. Before Frank kills us, too." That kiss had sealed her decision, and at the same time, had reassured her it was the right one.


	2. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Does that mean that you are going to go back to Horatio?" Calleigh nodded. Eric sighed in defeat. He didn't understand why married women never wanted to have fun anymore.

Eric and she both lay back on his bed, in afterglow. The blond female rolled over onto her abdomen, when Eric didn't respond, and turned to face him with her emerald green eyes. His reaction made it all the harder for her, and made her doubt whether going back to Horatio really was the right decision... Although the point was that she couldn't really decide for herself only.

"I love you, Calleigh," the Trace and Tires expert said, turning his head to make eye contact himself, before hearing her honest response.

"I love you, too, Eric, and I'll never be able to love Horatio like I love you, but I'll never be able to love you like I love Horatio either. He's the father of my child... our child."

"It was wrong."

"It was," Calleigh whispered, her soft hand cautiously reaching out to stroke his cheek. She realized she was torturing both of them by doing this, and ceased her soft motion. "And seeing things from that perspective, it doesn't really matter how much I love you. It's still–" "It didn't feel wrong."

"No, it didn't," the young mother sighed, ending a very uncomfortable silence.

"I will always love you, Calleigh."

"And I will always love you, too," she said, biting her bottom lip as she shook her blond head softly, "but I belong to Horatio." She rolled over on her back again and pushed herself upright on the bed with her hands. "I have betrayed my husband..." the female CSI cried, softly, covering her face with both hands, and realizing the mistake she had made. "Even after all I have been through with Jake!"

Eric sat upright as well, and took her into his arms. Firstly, his hands merely stayed on the appropriate places, but that really didn't last for too long. His hands trailed gently down her body; so gently it made her moan, and found the zipper of her navy blue top... His fingers caught the smooth fabric and pulled it up, over her voluptuous breasts and over her head, and tossed it beside the bed. Their clothes were quickly shed, and Eric pushed her backwards in the pillows, so Calleigh was lying underneath him, crushed between his body and the mattress.

"Seeing your perfect body makes me so... horny," Eric said, kissing a soft path around the nipple of one of her newly exposed breasts, as Calleigh's fingers tangled in his hair and she moaned in pleasure.

"Don't," she groaned, fully realizing it was wrong, but allowing them to enjoy the last time Eric and she would be together in that way. Although she had gone back to Eric's after her hospitalization, Calleigh had moved to the guestroom. To prevent situations like this... And now she was there on her back in his bed again.

He trailed down her body and pushed himself between her thighs. The female trembled with anticipation and pulled him roughly up with his hair, so they could twiddle their tongues around each other's again. She consequently felt his hard-on push against her entrance. "I'll make you come like you never did before," Eric panted. "You know you want me to." Calleigh moaned, loudly, as he hungrily continued his assault on her taunt nipple, and the male CSI couldn't help but softly chuckle. "I really turn you on," he said, matter-of-factly.

"Yes," the nude female underneath Eric's body moaned. He entered her and thrust into her so hard that it hurt. "Eric–!" she groaned.

After a few more quite painful thrusts, Calleigh succeeded in pushing him off her, Eric ending up lying on his back beside her. Both of them breathed heavily, and tried to get their breathing under control.


	3. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"I'm sorry," he said, feeling like this was the least that he could say, even though he didn't truly regret what he had done. Mainly because he didn't see where things had gone wrong. They'd had a great time, hadn't they?

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, sat like that for a moment and stood up, crossing the bedroom in her nudity, to the adjacent bathroom. Her bare feet on the parquet of the master bedroom sounded hollow, just like her heart felt.

In the messy little bathroom, crowded with dirty towels and empty cans of shaving cream, she looked into the mirror and saw the shadow of a carefree beautiful girl looking at her. She wasn't carefree any longer and she often longed to be four again, just dealing with her alcoholic parents. It hadn't been easy, but she would really love to exchange it for the life she had now, with even more trouble, that she knew was partially of her own creation... She sighed deeply, leaning over the sink and thought for a few seconds. It didn't last long, however, because, when she looked up again, the reflection of CSI Delko loomed behind her own face.

He looked at her for a minute in the mirror, before his arms snaked around her middle hungrily, closing his eyes in anticipation and searching for her taunt pink nipples once again. He needed to be with her so badly. Eric's lips captured her earlobe, and she flinched under his touch.

Calleigh still held onto the sink, as he moved his weight forward, forcing her to rest her upper body flat on it. Then, Eric entered her again, even harder than before, causing her to really gasp in pain this time.

"Eric…"

The male CSI understood and tried to pull back, but he didn't really want to. It felt wonderful to be inside her, realizing that the slightest movements could cause both of them to have an orgasm right then. So, his thrusts were a little softer for a few moments, as he eagerly massaged her breasts with his hands… until the beginning of rhythmic contractions of Calleigh's walls encouraged him to make her come, and made him push harder again.

With every thrust, Calleigh's pelvic bone was pushed hard against the sink and she had to grasp it tightly, until she felt him trembling with orgasm, not that long after the male had rather painfully entered her, and he came right inside her, awkwardly, elaborately, and nearly crushed her body with his.

She felt Eric's hot semen pumped into her core and bit her bottom lip as she herself started to cry silently.

As soon as their breathing became steady and regular again, Calleigh checked on her daughter before returning to the guest room, where continuous thoughts about the hard decisions she had made kept her awake the whole night. She still wasn't sure which choice would be the right one. Time would tell...

o°o°o°o°

The hardest thing about the decisions in your life is the fact you're only able to perceive the results after you've made them. Only then are you able to tell whether they were the right choices or the wrong ones.


	4. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"She's asleep," Calleigh whispered, über gently closing the door leading to the hallway with the bathroom and three bedrooms, entering the large light purple living room and walking over to the couch where Horatio sat. "I've missed my two beautiful girls so much," he said, softly reaching for her hand and pulling Calleigh on his lap impetuously.

Calleigh had really thought her husband was cheating, had just packed her stuff without a second thought and had left with their daughter. And the same night she and her daughter had left Horatio, she herself had already slept with someone else… and not just anyone else, but their colleague, and friend, Eric. What had she been thinking? Had she been thinking at all? Or had her actions been driven by hormones? It was more than possible; it was likely.

She threw her one leg over Horatio's lap, to sit on his crotch. Trying to get his pants unfastened with trembling fingers, his hands searched for Calleigh's thighs, while her lips searched for his mouth. When Calleigh finished unfastening her husband's pants, she quickly unbuttoned her own, standing up from his lap to dispose of them and her pink panties, then allowing herself to be pulled on his lap like before.

Horatio's eager fingers found the hem of her white blouse in no time, pulling the article off of her, and throwing it on the other side of the couch. She rolled her beautiful emerald green eyes playfully as her husband left the unclasping of her pink bra to her. She reached behind her back easily and allowed him to pull the bra off her with his mouth. She giggled as she felt his eager tongue on the valley between her breasts, trying to get hold of the fabric that kept them from Horatio's pleasuring. Until she sat there fully naked atop of him.

Calleigh's fingers disappeared between their bodies, lightly moving upwards to lead his hardness to her womanhood, as Horatio's lips peppered kisses where she wanted them most. On her breasts. On her areolas. On her nipples. When she slid down his length, she shut her eyes in delight. It hurt a little as well. Little 'H' was actually not that little. When Calleigh got used to his very large size again, she really enjoyed riding him. Giving her husband a kind of lap-dance, both cops shut their eyes to give in to the moment. It was the first time the couple tried it this way, but it was an intimate position with a lot of body contact, they both felt.

With every thrust of her hips, Horatio grasped her thighs in excitement. It took a little longer before either of them reached their culmination, but it was Calleigh who reached the finish first, the powerful tightening of her vaginal walls causing her husband to cry her name, their joint cries echoing off the walls, and brought him home as well.

Calleigh made a few more movements, before she collapsed on him. He cradled her nude frame in his strong, muscled arms as her lips found his again and captured them in their lingering ecstasy. "You're loud," she moaned seductively as their lips parted for breath and she thought she felt him still half-erect.

"I'll be more quiet this time," Horatio said as she unbuttoned his shirt and threw it on the living room carpet with a wiggle of the eyebrows.

"Hang on," she cautioned, listening carefully to the baby monitor standing on the living room table to check if their screams had woken up their daughter. It was perfectly quiet. She smiled and relieved him of his pants and boxers in no time, and he responded by maneuvering her nude body underneath him on the couch, as they really started to make out. They continuously kissed and touched each other's bodies in the process. "On the couch?" Calleigh asked, giggling.

"Didn't you claim it would be very exciting making love here, Mrs. Caine?" Horatio asked in fake innocence.

"Well gosh, I guess I did!"

o°o°o°o°

The small grey couch served twice.

"I love you, Mrs. Caine," Horatio said as he pulled his Calleigh into a loving embrace. He had just returned to the living room. Emily had been woken by their noise this time, and her father had gone to check on her, pulling his boxers on first. He had missed his little girl for many nights, so he didn't mind having to get up for her at all.

The couple cuddled up on the couch. "I love you, too, Horatio."

"Music to my ears, sweetheart."

She chuckled. Calleigh was deep in thought, until her soft voice asked, "Horatio?"

"Mmm?"

She didn't really have an idea how to phrase it, except for just spitting it out. "Eric and I–" Horatio's lips met hers for another slow building kiss. He didn't want the words to be spoken out aloud. He... knew. "Don't. Calleigh... it is my fault, too. I shouldn't have left you in ignorance."

Calleigh eyed him in shame. "I'm so... sorry." She hung her blond head, the awareness that he had already known sinking into her mind; ashamed for what she had done. For the pain she had caused him doing what she had done. She was surprised he still wanted to hold her in his arms, and run his hands up and down her spine. That he could still love her, with only the condition she would never say the words aloud. She felt like she didn't deserve his understanding and love. She was afraid if she closed her eyes she would see Eric in her thoughts, like she had seen her husband too often while making out with Eric.

"Is Elizabeth still staying with Tripp?" she asked faintly, a couple of silent minutes gone by.

Horatio nodded in true confusion. Where did she want to go with the conversation? "Why?" he added, curious about the reason behind the question.

Calleigh sighed. "You are the one she trusts, and Elizabeth and I could learn to get along with each other. She can't just stay with Tripp forever, right?" the young mother concluded, looking up at her husband.

"Do you want to bring Elizabeth here?"

Calleigh sighed again. "She's already almost an adult. She could watch Emily sometime, and I guess that would help her not to worry so much too. What do you think about it?"

"I think that is a wonderful idea," Horatio said, kissing his beautiful wife's lips. "I'm very proud of you, sweetheart," he added, kissing the top of her head and giving her her favorite crooked smile.

"She's my half sister after all, and I'm the only family she's got left."

"You sure?" Horatio asked. It would be a giant step for them.

Calleigh nodded, smiling, then sliding off the bench and crawling onto her feet again. Horatio couldn't help patting her ass as she did. She giggled, pulling her panties straight from behind as her footfalls sounded light on their way to the bathroom. "You're making me horny again..."


	5. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Horatio pulled her a little closer to him. "Claire Delaney was already expecting before she married her husband. She and John had broken up, and then got back together," Calleigh quickly summarized what H. had told her previously and sighed. "Claire was likely totally broken up after her boyfriend broke up with her and wanted to get sloshed, but met the always cheerful Duke. Back then, Dad was at the pub every single day. Mum had just left him and he thought booze would ease and solve it and just tried to get everything with breasts in bed..."

o°o°o°o°

And still, she had loved her father more than anything. It was nearly impossible to stop; impossible to forget he was still her father. No matter what he did. Every single thing he did, was with the best of intentions. And sometimes... most of the time, it didn't turn out like he wanted it to, and then there was another reason for him to drink.

Tears quickly formed in Calleigh's green eyes. It wasn't out of shame for the many mistakes Kenwall had made in his life, but because she missed him so much.

He had promised his daughter he wouldn't drink anymore, on the day he first saw little Emily, but once again he hadn't been able to keep his promise and little Emily would never see her granddad again. She would never have the chance to call him Grandpa. She would never have the chance to learn what a wonderful man he had been, despite his alcohol addiction. "Maybe I can't keep you from drinking, but I at least can keep you from driving," Calleigh had told her father once. She had done her utmost... but still, she had failed in her purpose to create a sober life for him.

He had been a true alcoholic, and that addiction had eventually cost him his life. Two days after the marriage of his daughter, Duke had drunk himself to death. He had gone into a coma, because of alcohol poisoning.

"I can't come and get him at the moment," Calleigh had stated resignedly that night, recognizing Dana's voice on the other end.

"But he doesn't want to take a cab," the hostess replied and this had persuaded her again. A drunk old man could be easily forced into a taxi, but Duke was still her father, and Calleigh still felt responsible for his actions. And for his death as well, because if she had left immediately… She probably couldn't have prevented it either, but Calleigh had still continued to blame herself for it all.

Calleigh had showed up at the Whiskey Stop to pick up her drunk father, right before an ambulance arrived. Instead of being taken home, Duke was brought to the Emergency Room, where a doctor concluded Duke had gone in a coma on the way to the hospital. His heart had been kept beating for a few days with the help of machines, but as it became clear he was never going to wake up, Calleigh had made the decision to have the machines shut down.

Her heart had broken in small pieces there in the hospital, hearing the hard truth. Her legs had gradually given out under her, and Calleigh had slid down the wall onto the floor in a crying mess. Her husband had been there at the hospital, and thank goodness for that. Calleigh wouldn't have been able to drive home in such an upset state. And going back to CSI hadn't really been an option. If Horatio had let her, though, she'd have gone straight back to her lab to pull old cases and last-hope leads and work as if her life depended on it. To forget, to put the pain aside for a while, until she was ready to deal with it.

His funeral had been incredibly hard for her. If Horatio hadn't been there to support her there as well, she would have cracked completely. Seeing her mother in such a state had scared little Emily very much. Babies experience things differently than we do. They are very sensitive to the emotions around them, even if they don't understand the reasons.

o°o°o°o°

"You really miss your father, don't you?" H. whispered, although the question was totally unnecessary. He already knew what her answer would be. Still, it seemed to be the only thing he could think of saying or asking her at that particular point in time. He softly caressed her naked pelvic bone as he patiently waited for an answer from her direction.

She nodded, one single tear being born in her eyes, finding a way over her pale cheek and dying on her soft lips. She squirmed in his embrace and rested her head on his chest. "Don't you? Sometimes?" she asked, softly, trying to wipe the one tear away with the back of her hand. Horatio reached out for the crystal tear and gently wiped it away with his thumb before she had the chance.

He fully realized what she meant and sighed. "I do.


	6. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Hi," Calleigh said, and Elizabeth looked up at her half sister in shock. She closed the book she was reading and lay it beside her on the old nightstand. "Elizabeth–" she continued, but then changed her mind, and decided to take a different tack. The seventeen-year-old Elizabeth looked at her as Calleigh sat down on her makeshift bed.

"It's been quite a shock for me to discover I have a half sister. I had always believed I only had three brothers, although I often longed for a sister..." Calleigh said. "I had to get used to it, but I have been thinking a lot lately and–" She looked up as her husband joined her at the doorway of Frank's small, dusty and cob webbed attic, which the teenage girl currently used as a bedroom. "Horatio and I have actually decided that… Well, there's still a spare bedroom in our apartment."

Elizabeth's mouth opened in shock. If she had really understood, then... it was just... amazing.

"You can move in with Calleigh and me if you want to," Horatio said.

Liz hadn't heard wrong. "Really?" She asked, jumping upright and looking from one to the other.

Calleigh nodded and a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. Inside, a concrete stone fell from her heart. Finally, it seemed like Elizabeth would have a real home; a real home after all those years... there did seem to be people who really cared about her and wanted the best for her. Not only did they want the best for her, but they were even willing to give up things in their own lives to make that happen. They'd rearrange their lives so she could fit in.

"Hey," Horatio whispered, making a small head movement in between a nod and a shake. "Come here." He held the teenage girl in his strong arms once she’d launched herself at him, causing Elizabeth to sigh deeply with a happy smile on her face. Inside, a concrete stone was being lifted from her heart, too. How long had she longed for someone to hug her like that? So fatherly?

Tears rolled over her cheeks and for once, the cause of her tears was happiness, unlike the usual pain and sorrow. Her parents had never had time for her at all. They had been there physically, but... emotionally? Probably never.

Elizabeth sobbed gently into Horatio's chest. You can cry out of sadness, and you can cry out of happiness. Sometimes, things can be so overwhelming it seems all your tears are gone. You do really want to cry, but you just can't. You’re unable to express what and how you feel. Liz still hadn't given an answer, but it wasn't really necessary. Her immediate reaction spoke volumes. Tears speak louder than words.

Horatio briefly looked into Calleigh's pure emerald green eyes, the match of Elizabeth's, and smiled. She smiled back.


	7. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

In the week that followed, all Elizabeth's remaining stuff was transferred to the DuCaine apartment. She hadn't had much, but that changed drastically after an afternoon of shopping with her half sister, and the credit card of the Lieutenant of Miami-Dade Crime Lab himself. There had only been two cardboard boxes left before that, with clothing, her laptop and cell phone, her dad's old guitar, and some personal things: her diary and a few old pictures. Her parents had left her with tons of debts and after the building was released as a crime scene, a public sale had been unavoidable.

Horatio had done everything he could to give her the chance to pick some last pieces, but she hadn't really wanted anything, and had agreed to sell the villa she had grown up in with all possessions.

Elizabeth looked up. "Yes?" she said, hoarsely, when her mind had convinced her she had definitely heard a soft knock.

CSI Duquesne pushed the door open further and popped her head in. "Hi... What are you doing in here? I haven't seen you yet today."

"I'm trying to decorate my room a little. You know... personalize things."

"Need some help with that?"

"Sure," Elizabeth answered with her soft voice, throwing a halfhearted smile in Calleigh's direction, as her half sister entered the room and wandered over to the bed to pick up the other bright green curtain, just as Emily's crying filled the room. Calleigh had left the door ajar in case her daughter woke up. She had already had the feeling the little one was going to wake up soon. "Emily's awake," Calleigh said, stating the obvious as she put the green curtain back down on the bed and navigated towards the bedroom door.

Elizabeth finished hanging her curtain and turned around. "Calleigh?" Her half sister stood still and turned around to face her. When she was facing her, Elizabeth softly asked, "May I?" Her expression showed some insecurity at whether it had been the right thing to ask. She had longed to lift her half niece out of her crib so many times, but had never dared to put her question in words. Emily seemed to like her, but maybe…

Calleigh smiled. "Of course."

Elizabeth's smile grew a little wider, as she happily maneuvered through her room to the adjacent baby room, leaving Calleigh behind. She lowered herself on Liz' bed and sighed a long sigh, as Emily's crying seemed to stop. It would work out, she was sure, but it would be different with a teenage girl in addition to their own infant daughter.

When she looked up again, Liz was walking into the room with the four-month-old girl on her hip. The baby seemed to be happily snuggled up in Elizabeth's arms and eagerly sucked on her thumb.

"Have you thought about a little brother or sister for Emily?" Liz asked, softly rubbing the little one's back, and looking up to see Calleigh's pain filled expression. "Have I said something wrong?"

The young mother swallowed the lump in her throat, and explained, "Right after Emily's birth, my womb and ovaries were removed. It was unavoidable since I had severe internal bleeding."

Elizabeth suppressed the question of how it had happened and hung her head. "I'm sorry."

"You couldn't have known," Calleigh whispered and tried her best to smile.


	8. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

She still felt the pain inside her. Horatio had wanted to give their daughter a brother or sister so badly. So had she. The two of them had always wanted to have a big family together; had always dreamt about five or six children. And the fact she couldn't carry any more... the pain inside had been a whole lot deeper than she wanted to admit, even towards her caring husband. She would rather bite her tongue than show anyone how deep the cut was.

Liz rolled her pure green eyes and pushed her one free hand against her lower abdomen. Calleigh stood up from the bed to take her daughter and looked quite concerned. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Bad cramps."

"You look really pale."

"Possible," Liz answered shortly, "I'm having my... period."

Calleigh bit her bottom lip and understood. "Maybe it would be good to just go back to bed," she suggested. "I'll bring you a mug of chicken soup in a minute. Chicken soup always works."

"Maybe I haven't told you yet," Liz started, gently sitting on the edge of her bed and releasing her lower abdomen, "but I'm a vegetarian, I don't drink chicken soup."

"You do drink hot chocolate, right?" Calleigh asked.

Liz nodded with a smile creeping across her pale face. She just loved hot chocolate. It was never too hot for it. Her half sister disappeared with her niece on her hip and re-entered the room a few minutes later, with two mugs of hot chocolate, of which she gave one to Liz, who had crawled back under the sheets and sat upright again when Calleigh walked in. "Thank you," she said, pulling up her knees. "A fair amount of sugar," she added after the first sip.

"I wasn't sure whether you would like it like that. I love sugar, but most people don't... Not in such quantity. When I was pregnant with our little Emily, I ate tons of sugar. Horatio went nuts over my sugar addiction. I have actually always had a sweet tooth, though..." Calleigh admitted, sitting on the edge of the mattress.

Liz smiled. "Where is Emily?"

"In her crib, downstairs," Calleigh said, sipping on her own hot chocolate and patting on the little baby receiver in the pocket of her pants. "If she wakes up again, I'll be the first one to hear it."

Liz smiled gently and took another sip of her hot chocolate before putting it on the nightstand. Calleigh saw she was wondering about something, noticing the teenage girl chew her bottom lip. "What's up?"

Elizabeth looked at her half sister with her green eyes glistening and asked, "What kind of person was my father really?"

Calleigh had secretly known Liz would ask this question sooner or later, and she replied honestly, "He often took refuge in alcohol, when he had been thinking too much or too deep. Until it became his death. He surely was an alcoholic, and I won't deny this fact, because I have seen him doing what he did, but he was a loving man as well. He wasn't the best father a girl could dream of, but he tried hard to give me and my three brothers what we needed. Sadly enough, sometimes he worked so much to make sure we had enough to get by, that he seemed to live for us instead of with us."

She briefly looked at Elizabeth and then turned her gaze away again. The pain her past had caused her showed even in her movements and she was afraid her half sister would notice.

Some cases had always hit her harder than others. The one who had stayed with her most of all the cases she'd worked on, had been little Emma. Her father had been killed by a bad man, and she'd been so scared of needing to testify in court. Calleigh, however, had bent the rules so that she didn't need to, and told her, if she wanted to talk, she could talk to Calleigh instead. Her girl next door appearance and sweet, soft voice made it easy to trust her blindly. The blond Ballistics expert somehow radiated calm and truth. That last word had been tattooed on the inside of her right ankle in Chinese in her last year at Police Academy. This was one of the reasons why she didn't like to wear skirts. To prevent people from asking questions about it, and from what it meant to how badly it had hurt.

Emma had trusted her unconditionally, and it had been then Calleigh had known she definitely wanted to have kids. She still remembered the girl's face as she asked her if she could talk to Calleigh and the female CSI had answered she could talk to her about anything and had sat down right beside her to listen. She didn't exactly know why, but she sometimes seemed to recognize herself in some of the girls she met in her line of work and often thought about her own youth.

She had likely never been so focused on the case as when Horatio had been under suspicion, though. Or maybe that one case with her father, Ryan's first one. The case she had been forced to back off from.

The young victims always seemed so helpless. And she had been like that as a teenager as well, because she had had to grow up too fast. It left her feeling helpless and needy, although on the outside she had always seemed like a very independent and proficient girl. The feeling of dependence continued, until she had eventually gone to university. In high school, she had never had any idea what Forensics held. She had never thought she would ever work for CSI either. Not that she had known what CSI meant.

In all those years of studying Physics, Calleigh had never even seen a gun or bullet closely, except for images in her notes, which she had drawn herself, after the sketches her teacher had made on the blackboard, to clarify that a gun was much more than a trigger and a barrel. She had known precisely how a gun was dimensioned and had been capable of describing the properties of many different weapons and projectiles by the end of the training, and even been able to explain the movements with the help of the laws of Physics if necessary.

When she had been allowed into the Police Academy, a prerequisite for CSI work in Dade County, a new world had opened up for her. The first time she had shot a gun was still a vivid memory. She had been at the Academy for only two months and had been forced to live with the disdain of her fellow male students from the start. She had been the only woman in her year.

Calleigh had shot a Colt .45 on the fire range of the Academy: not really the easiest weapon to start with. She'd tried to see the arc of the bullet through the air with her eyes, from the moment she'd pulled the trigger. What she, and everyone else present there had seen, was that the projectile she'd fired stuck right in the middle of the target eight feet away. It was highly unusual that someone hit that target on the first try and she had been a woman to boot...

The first time she had shot a gun, a warm feeling had gone through her body from the inside out, and at that moment she had known. 'This is it. I was made for guns.' A weapon made her stronger and more independent and she could handle it well. Guns had been her rescue; the only thing she could hold onto.

"I often thought… often had this feeling…" Elizabeth started. "I constantly doubted John Delaney really was my father. We were... so different from each other... The man I called my father was so different from me! My mom wasn't anything to write home about either, though. I often felt... disconnected from both of my parents... Like they weren't really my father and mother, but just a random couple I lived with..." She sighed. "I can't explain, but you being my half sister kind of helps me understand why I always preferred to play with BB guns instead of dolls and stuff..."

Calleigh couldn't hide a soft grin. She'd had the same interests as a child. She'd chosen play with guns over dolls and making tree houses over dressing up in her mom's clothes, unlike her small female friends. What with three boys and her being the only girl, and being so much younger than her brothers… She had sometimes felt more like them than like those other little girls.

o°o°o°o°

"Liz?"

"Mmm?"

"I care so much about you... You know that, don't you?"

Elizabeth's eyes were suddenly moist, as she looked up to face the young mother. "Yes, but it feels nice to hear sometimes. You are the only one that ever told me, except for Ilias," her soft voice spoke, as she picked up her mug again and took another sip, then giggled. "And Horatio."

"I'll tell you as often as possible," Calleigh replied, suppressing the desire to ask who Ilias was. If Liz wanted to tell her about him, she would sooner or later. She wanted to let Elizabeth come to her instead of going too fast. Liz's shut her eyes tightly and her half sister took her mug out of her shaking hand, putting it on the nightstand again. "Cramp?" Calleigh surmised. Elizabeth nodded, grasping her lower abdomen and pressing both hands against it hard, trying to make it hurt less.

"It seems to have become worse after my first time... I don't understand," Liz groaned.

"Oh, you didn't tell me about a boyfriend."

"I don't have one," Liz answered, releasing her abdomen and looking up in her half sister's green eyes. "Not anymore, at least... We were together for about nine months," she added, before Calleigh had the chance to say anything more. "I haven't heard from him anymore since..." She stopped.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Calleigh asked, cautiously.

Liz sighed. "He was the best friend of Lus' oldest brother. Louisiana was my best friend at the time. Yeah – awkward name. I don't have any contact with her anymore, but I heard that Shannon, Lus' older sister, lives at Miami Beach somewhere." A smile spread across Elizabeth's face, as she embraced herself while the memories filled her head. She didn't quite know if they were happy or not; if she had to laugh, or cry. "I was over sixteen. He was eighteen at the time and very handsome..."

Calleigh couldn't help but think of Horatio's nickname immediately. Elizabeth curled up like a ball, and Calleigh knew this must be really difficult to talk about. She was having more difficulties going on with her story, and took some deep, ragged breaths to keep the tears rimming the edges of her eyes from flowing over.

"We bumped in each other often enough when I was at Louisiana's, and about two months after we met for the first time; after two months of dancing around each other, he finally asked me out. He just went up the stairs when I went down, and just when we passed each other, he–" She swallowed the rest of her words, and gratefully accepted the mug of hot chocolate Calleigh handed over. She looked worried. "I was quite shy around and with him, but he thought that only made me cuter and after a few drinks, we made out and kissed for the first time. I'll never forget... It was so... "

"Special," Calleigh finished, thinking back on her first kiss with Jake.

Liz nodded. "The morning after our first date, he called me on my cell phone to say that..." She stopped again, sniffling. "How he got my cell phone number, I have no idea. I never asked him. There are so many things that I didn't ask him, although I often had the chance. I don't have it anymore."

Elizabeth sobbed, dabbing some tears from her eyes. Calleigh reached out and lay her hand on her half sister's arm, softly squeezing it and causing Elizabeth to smile faintly with the gesture.

"When we were together for about half a year, we still hadn't gone any further than kissing and cuddling yet. I knew that he really wanted more, but he never pressured me into anything..." Her mind went back to that first night, but the thought hurt too much and she shook it off, crying harder.

Liz could be described as a rather closed-off person, and now she had just opened up to Calleigh about Ilias. Then again, she realized how long it had been boiling inside; how it had been eating her alive, and how keeping her mouth shut about it had only hurt more. She had been strong for such a long time, but she just couldn't anymore.

We can't be strong all the time. Sometimes, we can't make it on our own. Sometimes, we have to allow other people to be strong for us. And being strong is not just about doing everything yourself... part of it is also letting others in; letting yourself be vulnerable.

Although it had been only recently that Calleigh and Elizabeth had learned of each other's existence, Liz had a feeling her half sister understood. She radiated trust. And right at that moment, something changed between the two. It was likely in that moment that the foundation of what would turn out to be a very strong bond was made.

Soundless tears rolled over Liz's cheeks as she continued her story. ""We were... so... happy together and then suddenly I found out Ilias had left with his mother and little sister. He hadn't told me anything about it and I spent a long time looking for an explanation, but I never found a good one..."

Calleigh took her half sister in a tight embrace, softly rubbing her back to calm her down. "It's okay to cry, sweetie," she whispered. "It's okay..."

"Maybe he loved me too much to be able to say goodbye? He called me from London once… a month after he'd left Miami. He told me where he was, England, and that he really missed me. We'd see each other again soon. He'd come back for me. He said he l-loved me and ended the conversation." She sobbed. "I still love Ilias so damn much, but I really doubt he loves me anymore and I'm starting to wonder if he ever really did... How could he just... leave me like that? I haven't heard from him since that last phone call, about two months ago. I'm still waiting for him to… What am I hoping for?"

"Shhh..." Calleigh cooed, still trying to calm down the upset girl. She must have kept this bottled inside for months. The CSI felt a head on her shoulder, when both girls heard the front door being closed. They heard Horatio talking to the baby, but didn't understand what he was saying.

"My parents never actually wanted kids, but then I came along and changed their plans. I ruined their lives. That's the reason why there was never a second child. I knew for as long as I can remember that they didn't want me. They never cared. Then Ilias came and made me feel different. If he hadn't been there, I would have been dead by now." Calleigh just continued to listen. "The hardest thing for me to do was opening up to him. I had learned to shield my inside from others through the years, but all that did was leave me closed off. With Ilias, it all happened naturally. And then he was gone and I was being treated like trash again. When I found out that Ilias had left, I nearly drank myself to death. I left the house and went into the first bar I could find, drinking myself into alcohol poisoning. Not that I loved those dark beers so much, but I just wanted to lose myself in them, until I would be completely numb, so I wouldn't feel the pain inside anymore. No one refused to give me more. I was a rich girl, so they never asked for an ID. As long as I paid..." She sniffled again. "When I had reached almost eight drinks in barely one hour time, I should have passed out. I woke up in the hospital on Intensive Care. My parents were just working as usual. The hospital staff had called them, but they never came. I was alone again, just like before Ilias."

The talking downstairs disappeared, and Calleigh heard her husband's footsteps on the stairs, until he stood in the doorway with Emily half asleep, half awake on his arm. She couldn't help but feel sorry for the crap her half sister had been forced to endure in those seventeen years. "Hey..." Horatio said, swallowing more words at the sight of a crying Elizabeth in Calleigh's arms. It was really good that the girls were getting along so well so quickly, but something had to be wrong for Liz to be crying. Calleigh looked up at her red haired husband with a glance that spoke louder than words. 'I'll explain, but not in her presence.'

The CSI softly rubbed her half sister's shoulder to try and calm her. Soon, she fell asleep in Calleigh's arms, exhausted from all the crying. So, she gently stood up, gathering the two empty mugs of hot chocolate on her way out. She sadly glanced at her sister huddled up in the fetal position and grasping her pillow tightly. She wouldn't be sleeping peacefully.

"What's wrong?" Horatio asked, as soon as his wife joined him in the hallway and closed the door behind her. He had just come back from putting their daughter to sleep across the hall. Emily's room was located next to her parents' and just opposite the guestroom, which was taken recently by Calleigh's younger sister. The bathroom was right next to hers. "Boyfriend trouble," Calleigh explained, as she turned to face him.

"Elizabeth never told me anything that made me think she had a boyfriend."

"Me neither," Calleigh replied softly, knowing how hard it could be to lose someone like that, and realizing why the girl hadn't said anything. She did have a good idea. A very simple one, though. It hurt.

It would take a very long time to get over it. For months, she would still smell his scent in her nostrils and think about the moments she had spent with Ilias. She would hear his soft voice in her ears, whispering words that gave her goose bumps and telling her about the love they made. She would taste him on her lips and the tip of her tongue; see him in her dreams like it was real and then only conclude it wasn't when she opened her eyes.


End file.
